im at the bar and i misjudged a fart...go home or ride the night out?Never mind, the bouncer made the decision for me...be home soon
Amandyke just told me shes gonna make my tongue her cum rag. i'm borderline terrified
I just foul balled at work. I had taken off my coat too… had to go to the sink wash my hands then go back to the stall and pick up my coat. I hope the guy shitting in the stall next to me didn’t figure out what happened.
separated laundry into 'got laid' and 'didn't get laid' piles.
I thought about farting is his face when he was going down on me last nite.
at what point did putting a bag of doritos in the freezer seem like a really good idea?
I'll sleep on the bed... The couch is now designated banging area. Any banging performed outside of that area will be subject to fines of cleaning up stains.
Most likely. calling 911 isnt usually something i do the first time i hang out w. someone, but hey. its a good story now.
After three games of beer pong ending in victory by death cup, all four of us bonded in the fact that we all slept with the girl's boyfriend at some point in time in the past year. She had no idea.
It felt like Party Santa dropped by and gave us two more 18-packs.
sometimes a perk of being a drug dealer is amazon gift cards. who knew?
She couldn't understand why my walking in on her 70 year old parents ruined any chance of a boner for at least an hour. I think she's too slow for me to fornicate with.
Well we found Mark's missing underwear. They're pinned up on Mike's trophy wall.
Anal on new furniture sounds like a quickest way to violate a warranty
Stand and applaud for me. I have successfully masturbated in a Walmart changing room with the door wide open during normal business hours. I lead a very Charmed Life.
Randomize
