ohhhh fuckk. chicks a dude.
The bong broke. we're having a little funeral followed by an inaugeration service for the new one
I am growing concerned with the number of people here in cowboy hats
That's what you get for fucking someone nicknamed "wiggle worm"
I don't remember you taking the condom off last night. Did you just walk home in it ?
All I've consumed over the last couple days is Vanilla Coke, semen, and Coors. I don't think today will be any different.
could you please tell me why you thought vodka soaked band aids were a good idea?
The underwear in the garbage is clean. Just wipe the pizza sauce off
he got mad becuase i made more noise when he gave me a back massage then i do when we actually have sex
Really? And is this the kinda party we talked about earlier?
Yup. It's just me crying in a closet eating soup
His dick looks just like him, taller than average, thick, and somehow always angry.
My goal is to not catch on fire... But if i have to dance im going to dance regardless of the danger
But how do I turn off the feelings though?
Vodka.
he told me to take care of him and then he asked me to walk him to his hotel. I already have a pussy. I don't need another one
You started crawling towards a moving train. Maybe you should take it easy next time
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