is that paris hilton dressed up as the guy from star trek who hosts reading rainbow
I think i peed on brittanys purse
The way you explained my vagina was exactly the way I would of described my breakfast burrito.
you know whats weird about having a girlfriend....I look forward to masturbating now....sort of like quality me time.
Locked out of the apartment with just a box of wine way to begin the weekend.
People kept wishing me happy birthday last night. apparently i was 21st birthday drunk
i don't think my family understands the severity of a twenty first birthday.
it never fails, everytime he manages to fuck my earrings out of my ears.
Something about a hand job in a car doesn't scream girlfriend
If we don't have crazy animal sex tonight at least twice, I'll know he's cheating on me.
Who wouldn't want crazy animal sex with you?!
A cheater.
I saw a kitty kat get finger blasted on the couch by a Bulls player
dude, i just accidentally flashed your mom. BIG TIME.
How early is too early for a booty call on a Monday night?
If he sends me a dick pic so help me god.
You casually put your finger in my ass and other people are weird..
Randomize
