I just did your MASH and your life is pretty unfortunate. Youre marrying the tech guy for love. you live in a shack and you're a hooker and you make $1 a day. you drive a brown limo and you have 7 kids
I have demons in me.
I think the only thing that impresses me are nice penises...and Jesus. Jesus would impress me. Especially if he walked on water again.
You drank the expired grape juice because you were convinced it had fermented into wine...you have a problem.
everyday i become more and more impressed with my facebook stalking skills
Everytime the frat boy touches his bro's ass after making a cup take a drink
Drunk puking in my bathtub has plugged it up for the third time this year. I hate these calls to my landlord.
Only at Harvard can you walk in on a bunch of stoners and expect everyone to immediately stand up, shake your hand and introduce themselves like we're at a fucking job fair
Sorry about coming to the pool in only a thong. I thought you said it was closed. Not that you were teaching a group of kids how to swim.
No just a slight sexual miscommunication which led to a little (lot) vomiting by one party and a bruised sternum on the other party involved.
I can't even make a guess how that goes.
I put ketchup in a girls hair last night. I need a sorry balloon
I got really upset about missing him last night when I was demonstrating penis sizes of the people I've slept with using a tape measurer to my roommates
The only math I use in every day life is figuring out how much I can spend on alcohol and still have money to pay my bills. High school lied to us.
i feel like you should know pants are always optional
In honor of Randy Savage we're wearing spandex and handing out slim jim's with option to suplex. Get behind it
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