I feel like a panda just shit rainbows on my mind
I just got wrote up for "repeatedly smelling like alcohol"
That was long passed due.
It was ok at first, but now im getting freaked out by him jerking off to me doing yoga
someone just broke into my class and invited everyone to the bar ...now we're filling out a police report. awesome.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
debating whether or not to save the package from my first plan b pill. it would be a nice addition to any baby book.
There is tupperware vodka. thats right tupperwares full of vodka. best leftovers ever
We should install the 'help i've fallen and can't get up' buttons on our bodies for this weekend. Birthday weekend calls for extra measures.
All I'm saying is that your next houseguest had better not barge in on me in the shower demanding I wash the stolen dye from his hair. I'm not doing that a second time.
I am gathering blankets and bags of horse grain to pad my truck bed so I have a comfy place to crash when I get home, without the inconvenience of stairs. Or doors. Or walking. But with the refreshing scent of molasses.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
we could do so many fantastic illegal things together. sexually and otherwise.
Nobody will take a lit match to your nipple without warning you this time. Pinky swear.
Before you started puking your brains out, you took a moment to give me the correct order of the Harry potter series
I just started talking about how noodles were so good
Can you pay somone's bail with a credit card or just cash? I feel like you would know this.
We're sitting on the kitchen floor drinking and talking about mounting real light sabers to the dog's head.
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