i am so fucked up that i think i'm playing snood in my head.
well..are you winning?
we might have left him a semi topless video on his wall. godd i just hope they suspend my accont so i stop doing thses things.....
I just saw the girl you left with - Chris Hansen's looking for you
He was crying to my sister about feeling like a bad person. Then he groped my breasts.
She needs to learn what's it like to have sex with someone and regret it the next day.
Well then I realized I had a bigger problem when I woke up a long board.
Im cutting you off tonight ONE boy at a time
Woke up the next morning in an 8 year old's bedroom. Saw my bra swinging from the spiderman ceiling fan and decided it would be best to dip out w/o it.
I just face planted on a condom wrapper in my bed...thought of you.
You're so romantic.
I told you in the isle if you get the one that vibrates that I masturbating with it. Your fault.
Bullshit. You owe me a toothbrush.
Drunk me made out with someone's girlfriend last night, was invited to their place for a semi-threesome, and then walked home at three am. Can't decide if this is better or worse than drunkenly challenging everyone to taekwondo sparring matches...
wtf... you literally introduced yourself as "that friend who's going to fuck all your other friends."
I hope you know that means regardless of their gender.
Iron Man just asked me back to his place... Not sure I can handle this. Wish me luck.
Also, being stuck with my family all week has made it very clear that I need to be drunk and I need to be fucked pronto
Nothing says I love you like a silicone dragon dick
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