you were chalanging people to drink the "worlds biggest jager bomb" - a VASE of Redbull and a PINT of Jager... is it no wonder you dont remember anything?
she read insantiy as in-nast-tit-ty and asked what the hell does that mean...
You were mumbling a lot and offered me 20 dollars to leave you alone
if he wont fuck me on the stairamster then i dont think theres much XXX shit going down
You sent her a pic of your dick with 'guess what you cant have anymore' written on it with a marker.
I really want to know why half of my kitchen floor is missing.
Please call me back as soon as your phone is charged, if you die tonight I don't want the last thing I said to you to be "I just farted a little"
hotel security told us you walked into the hotel with blood all over your dress, weren't wearing any underwear and were escorted back by three men who were believed to be "homosexuals".
Please, take the 2 shots of vodka that I left as an apologie.
You might have been able to redeem yourself had you not referred to grandma as "this bitch".
That explains the hand print on my face. That old lady knows how to throw a punch.
I really should have gone with the man who kept offering me cocaine. Why did I chose the German!? STUPID!
Hey, sorry for threatening to teabag your mom to death last night
I just fell down my stairs, guess that's how my sunday is gonna go
? I'm just sitting watching something borrowed alone, crying in my boxers , feel like I should probably do something
I put on a face mask and masturbated for an hour... my face now has a green tint
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