Ok walking to car, 3 gay guys park get out of car, one on phone says 'I dont know but I was definately getting some curb rubbing'
should I fuck that poor girl
no dude she won't be able to afford a fucking abortion
I just heard an old guy ask the chick he was with if she wanted to try ass to mouth...
thanks for that.
no memory loss, but i'm unhappy with my memories
Don't linger or you will get sucked into spending the night. Remember the mission mantra: GET OFF
BTW the amount of schmoozing I am doing towards some guy for an ID that may or may not look like you... You better love me.
Totally forgot I asked the cop for a theoretical fist bump and he still let me drive away
Happy Birhtday!
Dad, it's 3am and it's not my birthday... wherever you are, go home
He asked me the next morning if he fell asleep inside of me. Drunk is an understatement.
the cashier at the gas station pulled a twig out of my hair and told me I should probably wash it before work....it was kinda sweet.
Please send pictures of any nice new years ladies you run across in town, as I've forgotten what women look like.
Ive never seen a drunk man get suplexed before last week, now its the standard requirement every time we go out.
Apparently karate chopping the fronts off all the paper towel and soap dispensers in the bathrooms isn't even frowned upon. Like even at the third bar when I fell flat on my back trying to jump kick the last one some guy just helped me up and high fived me. America.
Yeah, sometimes it takes a while to realize, wow you kind of suck and not in the fun way
I don't know how to explain to you that you tried to recreate the bit from the Dana Carvey show where a guy dressed as Bill Clinton breastfeeds a bunch of puppies
Randomize
