wakey wakey hands off snakey
you know that hot chick that stutters? talk about an awkward orgasm
So... i mean if they do have cameras in his apartment buildings pool room atleast we gave them a little show.
I can't believe we had "50th anniversary of man in space" sex.
I forgot my id and a man called soup is buying me vodka.
sorry for the naked aussie man in your room last night, he got lost on his way to the bathroom
You kept saying we got to find the end of the rainbow, which turned out to be a box of lucky charms and Guinness in the bag of cereal
Guess what I'm doing tonight? Tacos and strip chess.
I'm attracted to him because he looks like the kind of guy who would lick my asshole without me having to ask.
I think if wine wasn't a thing I'd give up on life.
Life's too short to be sucking dicks in cars for the rest of my life.
He peed my bed and tried to say it was just the wine. The red wine. On white sheets. He's not a good liar.
Note to self: don't try to shave your legs when sex-sore. You CANT reach, stop trying.
cake and sex. what better combination is there.
I don't think I can get drunk, high or horny enough to even consider that
Randomize
