I got so high last night I started crying because i couldn't stop thinking about how scary space is
no morals, dignity, or self respect ... just an empty condom wrapper and a facebook request
Your sister thinks she pees out of her clit. Did you have Sex Ed or Sunday School growing up?
Heated debate on which is worse. Pissing your pants or puking all over yourself
They were lying down in the parking garage pretending to be speed bumps...
there is laundry and salad ALL OVER my car, i need context
You said that you were drinking out of a pan, and then went on to apologise to 'Jesus and all the other guys' for drinking on a Sunday.
Waking up with a sore back because you put the team on it for jager pong all night
Well my friend Jon slept on the couch and I slept next to my cooked lean pocket on the carpet
I rolled over and my thoughts became words and I said "oh fuck not you again" he didn't think that was too kind and asked me to leave
We don't watch enough power rangers
Are cops allowed to hit on you if they're in uniform?! Serious question.
If a clean cut ginger with a flannel and tattoos shows up at the apartment, he is allowed inside.
My husband was abducted by a group of disco dancers in the parde and danced off down the street. If you see him, tell him to Hustle on home and clean the cat box. #MardiGras
I just learned in class that female whales slap their fins against the water and then ten males come and fight for her yet we can't get guys to text us back
Randomize
