hey babe thanks for tonight, it was fun.
to be honest, i wanna fuck your friend.
I found out he doesn't have a facebook, twitter, or myspace. So, I'm going to actually go to his house to spy on him.
Just walked pass a bum on the way to a coinstar... awkward
i'm waiting for the less fat version of him to text me
he sent me a picture of his dick with a heart border around it
My boyfriend just sent me flowers. I am now crying at the fact i fucked my fat neighbor. God please help me.
UPDATE: lighting the grill with Bacardi. Haven't slept. Forgot the hamburger buns. Almost out of our eighth handle.
Between the dance party in the car and the distraction of the momma bear and two cubs im a cops wet dream roght now when comes to wreckless driving.
Fucking someone because they own a lava lamp is like fucking someone because they have 20 dollars and no concern for their house burning down.
Two months ago an unknown man was in my bed and now he is my boyfriend and he has 1.6 million in the bank and he buys me things because I only have $4.35 in my bank account
It could happen to you too!
Well, you've continued the theme of living with people who's dicks I've sucked.
yeah, never be friends with someone with shitty eyebrows.. they obviously already make poor life choices
I'm never going to adult. I'm staying a child. The only thing related to adult that I want to do is you.
I wonder if Paul and Andy realize how lucky that they are that we're too lazy to start fucking other dudes so we just stick with them
I just met him at a place called the meat farm, Jesus be a shield.
Randomize
