Hey I have to teach you how to run in heels before vegas
it's kind of slutty but what the hell, so are we
i took it, then realized you live 3 ours away. but if you start driving now, im almost positive I'll still be hard
Fucking him was like shopping for my first training bra.. Embarrassing yet extremely useful
From russia with love. But also with chlamydia.
I literally just wiped coffee off of the corner of my mouth with my boob because my hands were full. Thought youd be proud. Good morning!
Well you finally jumped into that tree you've always wanted into and some girl gave you an 8.5. You were very happy.
Like an undercooked grilled cheese that got cold again. But hairy.
And there goes my desire for sandwiches. Forever.
BTW he text me to text him later after the concert to hang out. Im prepping my bed but I should know I shouldn't count my dicks before they hatch
In other news I may have fractured my masturbating arm
At least it wasn't your drinking arm
I probably should have eaten more before I started shotgunning beers at 9am, but it was so much damn fun.
Do you ever just feel the storm building inside of you that tells you you're ready for a giant indiscriminate fuckfest?
I walked past his mum on the way out and she offered me toast in a napkin "for my travels". Being home from uni is weird.
His junk had piercings everywhere. The dick and balls. It was a fucking pirate penis.
Although, she is an extremely cool person. She put the "buddy" in "fuck buddy." And I mean that in the most respectful way possible.
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