Do I give off a "I have a sex tape" vibe???
Jon and Kate. Drink everytime we see tears. Drink twice if a child cries. Finish your bev if you cry.
somehow you got everyone naked by playing strip rock paper scissors.
do people in england often walk their sheep on leashes? or is this guy the exception to the rule?
No, he's fine. He only wanted to know why there were traffic pylons in the living room and how the peanut butter got on the ceiling.
I've learned something. I regret way too may Tuesdays in my life to be normal
You were throwing ham at people telling them you were the sandwhich fairy
I'm mentally preparing my vagina for this semester. It's fucking welcome week. I'm going to be talking to her all night.
Seriously, I was a high class hooker. I was snorting shit Rachel, white powder, lines formed with credit cards, the dudes house was beautiful. Magnum condom. Adorable puppy dog. Pretty sure at some point I was sleeping on a washing machine. Boxing Gloves.
Those were the highlights of my night.
Every time I roll over in bed I land on a different vibrator. I feel I'm the only one with this problem.
He made me eat donuts off his dick. donuts, jen. DONUTS.
Eric was just sitting there open-mouthed swallowing sake from that squirt bottle for so long the lady across from us leaned over to her kid and told him not to end up like "the big alcoholic one"
Did we actually play with swords last night or did I dream that?
We are gonna play a game I like to call what the fuck is in my pocket
So how do u get your coat out of the coat room when someone is fucking on it?
Randomize
