Did you go home with that guy without me?
Sorry boo - it's pouring and I found a boy with a car
if you are receiving this text, you are one of the people i hate
Walk of Shame. In a state park.
Well we ran into the cornfields when the cops got there. We'd been hiding in there for 45 mins when he asks me "So this wasn't exactly how I'd planned this but I thought I'd ask. How do you feel about oral sex?"
she just gave her compliments to the chief, at dennys
hell no. last time, i couldn't pee straight for a week.
I'm so proud of your ability to turn my Charlie horse last night into anal sex.
I felt so bad for you. Drunk Rachael wanted nothing more than to crawl into the cop car and give you a hug. Luckily Mollied/Barred out Rachael convinced Drunk Rachael this was a terrible idea. So I ran. I have your keys btw
I don't want anything to do with the Darth Vader stripper babe. I'm just trying to make dreams come true.
Please tell me joes at work safe and sound and doesn't smell like jail?
My boss just told me not to come back to work if I decide to drink. Challenge accepted.
Also, I pretty much need an IV of fluids straight to my soul
He says I vaguely mumbled happy New year, kissed him, threw up and then went back to sleep.
No, next time he offers you a ride home, ask him about Batman. The result will always be road head.
I don't think he knows you can have sex sober...
Randomize
