I reminded them that I didn't puke and I cleaned yours up! So huh!
I think you should know he took my pants (buttons and zippers included) and my thong off with his mouth alone. I found my husband
I don't know what your problem is but seriously you're a cunt for throwing up that song on your page. It's rude as fuck
omg its myspace i didnt think anyone took that seriously anymore
He puked at the bar then immediately procceded to slip in it, they loaded him up into a wheelchair, then the staff and myself walked him outside, all the while never having to pay for our tab. SO using this strategy again
You've got the short couch unless you find some girl to take you home
Challenge accepted.
I hope no one at work will be able to read the "who wants body shots" on my chest. I forgot about it.
A guy wearing a hard hat while floating the river. It's the most responsible drinking we saw all day.
Monday: I just need a drink Tuesday: OMG no more this week! Wednesday: oh shit how'd I get drunk Thursday: I'm glad you've stopped the pretenses
I'm hungover and surrounded by children and Republicans. What did I do to deserve this?
I came back and almost ran over two people passed out in my driveway I've never met before in my life
He awkwardly handed me plan b on Pickens Street... it was like a sketchy drug deal.
Like I respect him so much I would suck his dick
In a very non respectful way
I just put condoms in a mason jar because it looked prettier than the box.I think I've peaked.
i literally have the attention span of a weasel on steroids, but yeah, i know who you’re talking about.
My liver has officially said "fuck this shit" and escaped from my body.
Randomize
