Don't use my boy Weezy to support your whoreish tendencies.
we played lady & the tramp with a hash brown from McDonald's....im in love.
New level of high: If I could bathe in my salsa right now I would.
Sorry I was drunk and left blood all over your back seat I was pretending to be in private Rayan and used your thong as a bandage
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Hey. Be honored that I consider you the genital expert. I know alot of candidates for the position.
After the baby comes, I'll make us White Russians with my breast milk. That will teach her about sharing.
So the bartender from Applebees totally looks like he would take his clothes off for $40
I like how you possess the gift that turns normal guys into strippers
I also point out to everyone that she looks like DJ's gf on Roseanne.
Yeah I mean subtle isn't how I'd describe your flirtation strategy last night
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just spilled a shot of Patron on your mom.. Body shots may be happening. You better get here quick.
he couldn't get a boner so he asked me to sing you shook me all night long to his penis. I think it was weirder that it actually worked
I had sex with him and I blame the Doritos
he showed me his third nipple on the first date. I might have low to no standards, but my god.
My theme for the night was drink diego drink! Unfortunately Dora was not there to navigate me to the bathroom
Does it look too obvious if I buy wine and candles!?! In my defense there is a gigantic snow storm coming.
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