I just realized I had sex more when i looked like a fat elton john. Fuck my life.
this bucketlist has just become an excuse for me to be slutty, and i'm not even ashamed
so went to the condom shack today. bought a condom that dresses up your dick in a suit...tomorrow im fucking in style
i believe i can now do shots of gasoline with no chaser. its been that kind of summer.
well when mom kept referring to my "black hole of a vagina" and how i devoured all the nuts at the party like i was a pro, i figured my stay was up.
Seriously, in what other class can the final major discussion be what bar you're going to with your prof?
I remember nothing except the fact it happened and I ate doritos and we highfived a lot
Dude, we apparently put a washing machine drum in that back of your truck with the full intention of making a bonfire in it.
She just spat tequila at me... Like a fountain... A broken fountain
Here you are just trying to masturbate and I'm talking to you like your an initiate for some secret society.
I just watched our fat male neighbor dibble a soccer ball across the lawn. It looked like Baywatch with diabetes
I woke up in Brittany's thong, Tony's shirt, and an oven mitt
Smoked a blunt with my dad then introduced him to cinnabon delights. Today was a good day.
party at the soccer house. crumbs in my sexy panties. can't. put. pieces. together.
In hindsight I shouldn't have been blasting Antichrist Superstar if I didn't want to seem suspicious driving up to a Catholic church
Randomize
