Wow so 15 missed calls, a vm AND a text saying come downstairs? ...And where is downstairs? Explain.
I just had sex in the back of an ambulance. Call me.
Dude!! Mom just asked me why you have 'boobies' hahaha
I hate my life
If it was for sex do you really think i would asking for a mass vote? I'm like fidel castro when it comes to sex. No public approval needed.
I may or may not have just visibly given him head in front of three young children and their mom. They all looked mortified.
I think we should make a list of challenges so that when stuff like that happens, we can check it off. Like a scavenger hunt for hoes.
i wish i could swallow nair and shit it out and it would get rid of all my ass hair.
Well, he sent me "techno kitty adventure" about 10 minutes ago. So, he could be anywhere.
I ate goldfish off your shoulder, I think we had bigger issues
just watched a cripple ollie in his wheelchair to get on to the elevated floor in the bar. I. LOVE. WISCONSIN
St Patricks day needs to be raged like youve never raged before. Like youre in the desert and it starts raining beer. Like it's the day the announced the 21st amendment (which is the one that ended prohibition)
Sorry, not ignoring you.. We broke open the other piñata left from cinco de mayo and it was filled with condoms, mini booze bottles, and those little party horn things you blow into. You'll forgive me when we're fucking for days with all these free condoms.
I hurt so much. Not in the emotional way, but in the I went to dive bars sorta way.
I got a blowjob dressed with a t shirt sweatpants and a Fanny pack. Not kidding.
I have a half pound of weed, a case of beer, 8 frozen pizzas and a hard dick. You have a high tech super-bong and a chest of sex toys. That's our vacation week right there.
Nice. Ask if they watched saved by the bell. yes=legal. No=jailbait
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