maybe all of them together would equal one normal sized dick.
yup. cregs moms pubic hair is still glued to the celing
He made me stop in the middle of giving him a blowjob so he could go get his glasses. because he "wanted to see". I need to stop dating nerds.
you left your shoes but remembered to take your vodka. i see where your priorities are.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
look for us when you get to the club. we're the guys wearing snorkels.
He kept spanking me and talking about biomedical science.
Aw, you fucked a pre-med? you're moving up in the world!
i had to take off my light up shamrock necklaces, my professor was getting suspicious.
So if a girl goes for it you're gonna stop her and tell her you gave up ejaculation for lent?
it's always good to have a friend that's a hairdresser, a massage therapist, maybe throw in a lawyer just in case, and always have a friend on food stamps
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I've had more jaegerbombs than I can count on 3 fingers
If you think you're having a bad day, know that upon waking up, I was informed that I blew my nose in a piece of bread last night
I just need to find someone whose kink is financial submission.
It finally happened my mom knowingly gave me money to buy drugs i knew this day would come\n
I plan on getting so intoxicated, that I think it's MY own birthday
Can I play this game?
She was riding a razor scooter down the street wearing nothing but a feather boa it was beautiful.
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