it doesn't get any better than taco bell and soft core porn
The sex was so good, I called my ex during the 2nd time just so he could hear. Is that mean?
I jsut got pulled over and passed the sobritaty test.
Good thing spelling doesn't count.
There were gay boys and a jukebox. It was like god wanted me to.
I mean, I can get to know him eventually. The time frame doesn't really matter. I'll have sex with him regardless of whether he's interesting or not.
I can feel my ovaries exploding thinking about them.
If you hook up with a kid and the next day he breaks up with his girlfriend, those can be seen as two completely unrelated incidents right?!
I don't know how or when he is sober long enough to donate plasma
YOUR DICK HAS BEEN IN ME I DO NOT WANT TO BE SET UP TO MEET YOUR FRIENDS
At some point, you're going to have to talk to a tree and do what it says
Idk I was embarrassed that I hit it too hard so I played it off by spitting out bong water like a 'whales blowhole'
Youre having a picnic
Yeah but all we have is vodka, so it's getting a bit out of hand.
Nice classy night out before we roll our faces off
My breath smells like gin and sadness
In hindsight, maybe rearranging his living room because he has OCD while he was out wasnt the greatest idea. Though it'll keep him busy for HOURS
Randomize
