I hate having morals and standards the next morning.
I need to stop having one night stands with guys in my building so I can have someone to borrow milk from without it being awkward
Hands down the most disgusting picture message ever received. Thank you.
im here for your entertainment
Lesson learned. Never get fingered on an airplane.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Make sure you have everything youll need until sunday. aka a green shirt and condoms.
After the Jell-o shots and about 6 shots of lighter fluid brand tequila, it got to the point where breathing was painful. All I could do was pray I didn't fall asleep in the front yard.
He wanted me to choke him with my feet. So now I feel obligated to start writing my memoir
That portion can talk about stepping out of your comfort zone and how it can potentially kill people
Question. There's no better feeling than clean shaven balls. Do girls get that too?
There is a Victoria's Secret pageant on right now with Taylor Swift singing in lingerie. I didn't know a penis could get this erect.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
But can mardi gras accurately capture the essence of my tiny rage?
Scientific fact: if he makes a face like a demonic dog when he's fucking you, makes it easier to fuck without feelings.
I feel like I don't even know what's gonna happen when we first see each other. It'll be like explosions and glitter and a unicorn will run by pulling a sleigh of alcohol and sex.
I just gave my boss a blowjob. underneath his desk at work. that promotion is mine!
So I have three weeks to get rid of his girlfriend and fuck him senseless before he goes to jail
Somehow my life has turned in to drug deals at the bar, and illegally camping on a mountain because I have no where else to live.
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