Making out with married ex girlfriends: priceless
I think I've given more of my business cards to Chipotle trying to win free burritos than anyone else
And for 6 straight hours, I laid on my bedroom floor trying to convince myself it would perfectly acceptable to pee on my own floor
She gave him a lap dance on the glass table. You can guess how that ended
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Weekend has begun hello red wine at 10am on a Wednesday
We realized he wasn't with us anymore, so we turn around and he's 20 feet back, peeing on a squirrel.
my mom just left...time to break out that water bottle of wine that I sewed into my teddy bear
You got called a pussy at a party with a slow cooker, you can't let that shit slide
We could all 3 jump out of a cake in just tophats. A true marble cake.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Dude, you went to another fraternity's formal as a joke and came home with one of their dates. AND you managed to get her number. Please explain to me how that's not a good night.
Y'know i appreciate how accepting you are of me being a terrible person.
Would I be a horrible mom if I got a babysitter at 6am so I could go get laid.
I just licked wine off my own thigh. I've hit a new low.
I wore Yonce braids out last night and made out with a man and a woman #bowdown is right
She kept telling me that it pissed her off that i expect people to make out with me...then she made out with me. Win?
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