just turned my empty handle of passion fruit smirnoff into a fish bowl. I love college.
In the hospital waiting to be tested for the first uti of the school year....I'm BACK BTICHES.
I'm buying eyelash glue, salt, and limes. We know how tonight is ending.
Upside of a two-day migraine: thanks to a prominent "E" in the middle of every pill, I think we can totally pass off Excedrine Migraine as ecstasy to stupid, drunk freshman. This is totally going to happen. That entrepreneurship course is paying off.
GOOD NIGHT DREAM OF ALCOHOL SNO CONES
The straight guy here is hot. He described himself as Christian grey without the money and my vagina fell out of my body
Oh yeah, found out i got it from my boyfriend's wife. Thanks though.
well his attempt to make a white russian with instant coffee, gone off milk, and that weird probably illegal vodka we bought the other day isnt going well
I found pix on her phone of me passed out and her sticking things up my ass. Its over.
we both turned hook ups into relationships we are crushing this thing called life right now.
Never has jello made me angry to the point of drinking. But here I am.
I just turned down the best booty call of my life because I have to make a cheesecake. I guess this is growing up.
I also farted in bed this morning and said, "I don't even care. My body deserves that."
plus like he's kinda a piece of shit. a beautiful somewhat talented piece of shit that hella needs to get his life together
hold on i need to sex proof my eyelashes. thank godd for waterproof mascara
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