had another sex dream about alec baldwin...
He just got home drunk. He ate 5 snack cakes, said Little Debbie's his bitch, went upstairs and fell asleep.
had to split buying plan b over two cards. I will no longer challenge people to get on my level
where did this taco bell managers name tag come from ?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Yeah, I wish I could have one upped you. But all I did was ride circles around a cop on a stolen bicycle while laughing at him for telling me to stop riding on the sidewalk.
Why did the fire extinguisher taste lemony?
I think that means you're growing up...when your coke nail becomes your opening mail nail.
I can't feel my tongue. And that means go. Green means go. And you know what Barney says. Green means go and woah means no. DRIIIIINKK
I'm going home because your Crackraptor step-brother tried getting his nasty meat hawks in my pants last night.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
YOHYFONSO!! YOU ONLY HAVE YOUR FIRST ONE NIGHT STAND ONCE!!
she doesn't even know what year it is. She just stumbles around life with a bottle of rum
Idk I'm drinking Sam Adams and wearing new balances so I'm basically a dad
I'm watching Part of Your World now and I'm crying and I feel like I'm floating right along with her. This. This right here is some drunken Disney Magic
Apparently i tried to feed this guy's piranhas my whole left arm.. according to him, i was "showing them whos boss, bc if they try to eat my arm, im guna punch their face"
Give me one good reason why I should go with you.
Free beer.
..pick me up at 8.
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