Was just hit on by a guy with 2 kids and one was named Rocky. I need to get out of Buena Park.
he looked like jesus. just the kind of jesus i would have sex with.
Someone told me that drinking would get me no where in life. Drinking has gotten me everywhere in life.
Why wouldn't u just let me ride the washing machine
you really dont want me to drink and drive. you saw what i did to my face and that was only from walking
I wanna thank you for having such slutty friends growing up. Your a great little sister
Well it looked like you were having a fucking apiphany sitting at the toilet with a t shirt around your head
Turns out the guy I peed on gave me a ride back to my dorm this morning.
You are a god.
Sorry about flashing you in front of your mom.
Don't forget Giraffe in your car! If we show up in the same outfit without animal heads we're just gonna look weird.
sexting foreigners is the best. they respond with silly things like "love that tits"
what better to celebrate not being pregnant than to eat a bowl full of rum soaked pineapples?
christmas shopping: 3 hours in the liquor store...
I woke up this morning to find my closet lacking 98% of my clothes and a text from my male roommate saying your dresses squeeze my genitals
It's okay to admit that you're into redheads.
Randomize
