Blackberries need to come with a feature that disables texting to certain numbers after 2am based on content. liek disabling texting to 'dad' containng the words 'lets try to find more blow.'
shes got a really nice body. but her face is eh.
you dont need a face to have sex
it doesn't count as moral degradation if you win the strip off -right?
can a guy be partially circumsized? cause i dont exactly know what i was lookng at...
come over. we are watching hoarders and playing i spy.
I don't know why girls would even talk to someone as drunk as I was.
I don't think a check that has "thx for the drugs" on the note is really gonna fly.
I just rolled over in bed and felt a bump. Turns out it was a lil nug. Talk about being princess and the weed.
Starting St Patrick's Weekend, non stop flights on Pacific Whorelines to the scenic HotMessXpress. Get the cougars ready, it's gonna get weird.
I know you all think its cute to drop me off in a different state when I black out, but I can't wake up in family campgrounds asking where I am. These parents are scared.
A dude was barking out of one of the buildings so I barked back and he goes, "Oh shit! She barked back! Come to room 803 I'll fuck you!"
One door closes, one man cooks for you through the next open door
I'm sorry, I'm tired, I can't play long distance cockblock anymore. Good night don't get too pregnant.
I'll give you another blowjob if you bring me some cake.
I swear I'm an adult. I say as I send my mom to go find me green lucky charms and lady gaga oreos
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