the couple across the street's about to bang. go get the popcorn and come join us.
He said I was the smartest girl he had ever dated, that should have been a sign from the beginning
He was making tequila spiked Arnold Palmers and murmuring things in Spanish.
I love foreign exchange students.
...and the foreplay consisted of me threatening to cut off his hand if he didn't remove it from my back.
Omg. I bid $3000 on a cave in Afghanistan on EBay last night.
Yo I tried to get u stoned for ur dreams by blowing weed smoke in ur face while u slept. Ur welcome.
We all have our weaknesses that drive us crazy. We happen to have one in common, 21 year olds. Your secrets safe. Touch his penis.
The fire alarm went off at 3 am in the freshmen dorm. So guess which junior everyone now knows is hooking up with a freshman? This girl...
You were air-planing a joint into my mouth while I was crying naked in the bath tub.
Best Friends For Life.
Fell down the metal stairs and some guy tried to fight me after you left. I fell asleep with cadbury eggs in my mouth too.
I went on my dinner date pretending that my lunch date didn't jizz in my hair.
GO AHEAD, BITCH, GLARE AT MY WAFFLE ONE MORE TIME. I WILL FUCK YOU UP.
I should become her mentor. Get her life back together for her
You mean sponsor?
tried to suck my ex boyfriends dick last night at a bar... Happy homecoming from me to you
Pooping with Eye of the Tiger playing. Not a single fuck shall be given.
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