Yeah....I really appreciate it....I didn't even get it from hooking up....lame, atleast if a girl gets u sick when u r hooking up it was fun in its inception...
I just remembered that last night when we tried to walk off the spins you said "pretend i'm your pet dinosaur" so i walked you around on an invisible leash while you made t-rex hissing noises.
I didn't say she couldn't, I said you shouldn't.
come pick me up. please. i just puked in my lap. bring pants.
too bad being hungover isnt a job. just threw up from 9am to 5pm
So this shipmate of mine somehow managed to throw up in his back pocket.
I thought the one perk of the low caliber of men I've slept with thus far in my college career is that I would never run into them in the library. I've been here for ten minutes and we're on number three.
got my wristband ripped off, was told i can only be served water. please find me, i'll be running through the fountain
We're watching a video in class about cheese. The scoring for it sounds like that of a Lifetime movie. My mind is creative. I've continued my own story in my head of a wheel of cheese that was raped and murdered. It's so sad. I hope they get the guy. Btw, the video is about marketing.
The night went downhill when he lit her purse on fire and tried putting it out with vodka
i just found my fake in the snow. LIFE IS AWESOME
My vibrator box just fell off the table and hit my cat in the head, he is a little stunned. Good thing I went medium size
I have already put on my inside pants.
Just bought plan b at 8am. Then the cashier asked if I wanted to donate to the children's miracle network. Fml
You're like a care bear with a big cock & a sexual prowess that would put the mighty Thor to shame.
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