hipster in red sally jessy raphael glasses inside. kick her.
I don't make mistakes...just understandable bad choices.
nothing says happy birthday like half a tampon wrapped in someone else's hair on your shoulder.
there should be a rule- if you jizz on it, you wash it
do you ever facebook stalk someone so much you think their inside jokes are yours?
you googled "nude photos of celebrities you wouldn't expect to have nude photos", puked into the beer bong, and then laughed
this is hardly the first time i've been told i'm dressed "too suggestively" for 7 in the morning.
he asked me if i would dance for him to make it easier for him to jack off. does that answer your question.
im gonna make a bucket list just so i can cross off "underwater blowjob"
told weddin planner we wanted to work in ceremonial body shots before vows. she hasnt reponded yet...
You have permanently scared my back with your nails. I would like to congratulate you on a job well done.
well i just got discharged from the hospital after getting pegged in the head by a t-shirt gun so thats how my night was.
............HELP Ive been abducted by vodka and its poisoning my brain fat chicks are getting cute and i slept with my sisters friend who slightly resembles john kerry....,,help
When did I go from having sugar daddies to being one? And does it count as a tax write off?
it's just not right when you're boyfriend has a nicer ass than you do.
Randomize
