so...dinner was kid's cuisine and a bottle of wine. i think they go well together.
My boss just gave me full permission to come into work wasted this weekend.
I'm at the bass pro shop. They have a river full of trout and turtles, a shooting range, a full bar, and the patriots cheerleaders are here. I now understand why people are rednecks. I may never leave
I found his backpack for the weekend. All it had was ping pong balls, mardi gras beads, and Tums.
Helped an old lady on crutches throw away her mcdonalds, carried her stuff to the car and helped her get in...most productive cinco de mayo hands down
My mom's 50 year old alcoholic friend just told me about how she was more whoreish then us at our age. Challenge accepted.
We just leapfrogged all the way to the bar.
I cNt phones. tingles in my fingles. jingles
I was thinking that maybe I should not apply to Wells Fargo because they def have me on candid camera taking a drunken nap at 3am in their lobby.
I spent two entire hours explaining to a guy why I wouldn't make out with him. How was your night?
I have a bunch of bug bites on my ass... This is why you don't have sex against a tree in the woods
Sitting naked in my bed eating leftover Mexican food drinking coors light.. Can it get any more single than this?
Also: I hate her so much. She's out at hooters, making spelling errors, while I'm literally sitting at a clinic getting std tested. Which of us won the morality award in this break up.
You’re welcome stay at my house. But, you gotta piss in the toilet
You kept crying and I couldnt help but laugh at you, I was really high though.
Randomize
