Seriously, I'd take them all over any of the milfs here...and you know how much that means coming from me
I am sleeping on the floor in your room so if you have sex in here just don't roll on me
Guess who's still drunk but on time to court to represent a DUI?
You are my hero
There's nothing I can say to make me pepper spraying you any better
who put toothpaste on EVERY doorknob in my house?!
he got all sad that i was going to fuck his roommate, so i just asked him if it would make him feel better if I let him motor boat me. i am such a saint.
It was like an ecstasy filled massage for my vagina.
That's the best compliment I have ever received.
My phone autocorrected your name to "grownup." that couldn't be more inaccurate. I'm getting a new phone.
You better keep a close eye on your uterus tonight cause I am looking good.
WHY DOES HE HAVE TO CALL WHEN I'M MASTURBATING?! This time I'm really pissed. It's like he knows he's depriving me of orgasms.
I snorted xanax while wearing reindeer antlers. Prancer gone wild. Have a merry Christmas.
Naked. naked and bneed help.
I came on her face and asked if she wanted fries with that. Currently driving to McDonald's.
I have only been here for a week and might contributed to a dumpster fire on accident.
Is it too early to start looking for freshmen penises to corrupt with our liquor and yoga pants?
I was just wondering the same thing! Gotta be any day now
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