I knew the sex would be bad when he slipped the rubber on and said "safe sex activated"
so I finished the entire bottle...next thing I know, it's 8 am and I wake up on the fucking beach in the low tide with a family standing about 30 feet from me just staring.
I'm on a cruise to the Bahamas and this text message is gunna cost me $10 but I need you to pray on my behalf for the things I'm about to do these 2 girls and what I did last night to a 35 year old mother of 3.
he busted in while i was showering looked at me and said "youve lost weight bro, no homo" and started puking into the sink
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I spiked my fruit smoothie. Taking bikini season diet to a whole new level
I think i blacked out...but i remember licking your teeth
DO NOT GO IN OUR BATHROOM. it cannot be unseen
By the way, i got bored and just started putting my balls on every object in your room. One at a time.
It's 3 am and I'm buying cat food and batteries for my vibrator. Good thing I shaved my legs for this.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I've decided to take one for the team and bang the landlady for lower rent.
Let's drink tonight I promise I'll make it out of the house
It's hard not to feel like a terrible person with bruises on your tits.
He sent me a dick pic from a port-o-potty in Boston. If that's not love Idk what is.
These business classes have improved my drug business ten fold
Oh the sweet dreamless sleep of drugs
You? On what? Why?
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