My poor mother should have just stuffed me back up her vagina when she had the chance.
I don't even know. I woke up to a text from someone named Vick saying he was 'legit worried' that I had herpes.
She was giving you that "I really want to blow you but I have to act professional" look. Guaranteed
I don't remember you taking the condom off last night. Did you just walk home in it ?
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Chapter 6 - how to lose your underwear in chicago
Noooo. We thought it would be funny for him to wake up buried in the sand. But we just remembered about the whole high tide thing and it's dark and it's pretty damn hard to find an unconscious head sticking out of the sand. Just help us out
By the way if you come home and I'm not wearing pants, just go with it. I didn't have the energy to go searching for some.
It was super embarrassing when I had to tell my brother, in front of my mother, that my wifi password was Drinkupbitches. Thanks for providing that lovely family moment.
I woke up hugging a box of cheerios that had "wonder woman" written in sharpie on it. So much for a sober night.
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A good drinking club with a running problem, improves endurance in both I have observed this evening.
2 for 1 beer results in multiples of 2 so what should be a beer or two becomes 4 or 6. But running, alleviates the need for a DD.
pls come over. need ride to hospital once taquitos are ready
he threw an umbrella that he ripped out of the table at the fence like he was harpooning a whale while the owner of the bar was outside then tried to blame it on an old man...
he called me 'mate' and i had to remind him that you dont call people mate who continously make your dick hard
I saw the president of my women in business club at the bar last night...I was gonna thank her for teaching me the business skills to create my own fake to get in... then i decided not
I woke up wearing nothing but my red thigh high socks and a blue wig. I have no idea what happened.
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