At my boss' house at a bbq. Had a few beers. Taking a poop - there's no TP...this is my nightmare.
yours is so small it looks like an acorn!!
That blackeyed peas song was on, so I thought that was prediciting tonight was going to be a good night. And then my garage door opner fell and hit me in the head.
I literally just copy and pasted that from another bbm convo bc I'm far too stoned to explain that again.
she must of just birthed a child cause her labia touched the floor
I just caught myself doing the gator chomp to my tv. I need to get laid.
any advancement on the stomach flu vs. pregnancy scare of '10?
Your mom just threw up on me. Please come home.
I'm also glad were at the point in our friendship where my vagina talking to you isn't weird
Just walked out of 7 11 still in uniform when 4 girls in bikinis in a convertable screamed "we fuck firefighters!"
Career choice validated
I think my whole family judged my ability to change under a blanket.
In a moving vehicle and other people in the car
I believe nudity is frowned upon at that establishment
i know you're at the dentist, but this dick pic was too phenominal to wait and i deserve immediate tit compensation
I went through his pics. Will you go with me to get tested?
You know you're high when you find yourself sitting on the floor with the refrigerator door open, talking to various foods. Hand gestures and all.
Nate is still in lock up because when the cop informed me he'd shit his pants in the squad car I declined to post bail.
Randomize
