They gave me a glowstick necklace to wear so they could locate me if I wandered off into the woods
Stop making excuses. You can be here in 5 and cumming in 10
THEY ARE MY AGE. THEY ARE YOUR LITTLE SISTER'S AGE THIS IS A DELICATE MATTER. CAPS LOCK
1 be hot 2 flirt with everyone 3 use hotness to make people do things for you. It's a simple model.
By the end of the night I was using him as a leg rest and he was handing me pizza rolls when I wiggled my hand. It's a proven method.
I apologize for violently hooking up with her in front of you in the jacuzzi last night.
He wore nothing but a Speedo and a tie to the party. It was great. Everyone was looking at him like "this kid's the best"
nothin like your phone freezing up and sending out old booty calls at 11am on a sunday. fml.
That basically sounds like the worst party of my life, and I'm including my brother's World of Warcraft themed birthday party.
When did it become normal to wake up in the middle of the night to take a group bathroom break and have a 10 minute discussion on where the next football game is?
No I don't want to see you. You're the reason that I'm going to need a new liver by the time I'm 30.
Also the girl beside me smells like she's been in a deep fryer.
I keep having dreams where I tie him up and eat cookies off of him while riding him. Wtf brain.
U just kept yelling her vagina wasn't a priority bc u had a bowl of cheerios calling your name
Taco Bell is better for you than cocaine, I promise.
one week and then i'm back on the sexual grind. a party is being planned in my vagina's honor
Randomize
