so i slept on a park bench last night...no hobo
Is it gay to rub my penis between my butt cheeks and pretend that they're tits?
Wow! You need to get laid.
i wonder what thom yorke's orgasms sound like
I glued a penny on the door Tricia believes its Patrick Swayze haunting our apartment. Fuckin potheads.
And then she started grabbing onto random guys legs, asking their names, and if they wanted to be friends... Haha, I love when the girls my ex's are dating are total drunken whores.
He told me he wanted to break up so he could get "closer to God."
Does God suck his dick?
He invited me to see "alison wonderland" WHAT THE FUCK THATS NOT A FIRST NAME/LAST NAME TYPE DEAL
I'd like to come home and be able to sleep in a bed that's not filled with crumbs from you getting too high and passing out while eating. This is seriously getting ridiculous.
Hey, you guys have all had chicken pox, right?
What's that word that means bigger and smaller and bigger and smaller, again?
Goddamn it, Jaime, it's 4am. Throbbing. The word is throbbing.
Well I went on a freakin rampage and destroyed a fan and claimed that it wasn't doing its fan duties... Then I knocked on everybody's doors in the hall and asked if they were content with their fan's performance and if not I would take care of it...
i'm totally cool with all the dick sucking you're doing down there, but as your brother i think i'm supposed to warn you our parents will be home in 5
I don't know which is worse, the fact that he can say will you fuck me in so many languages or that I'm turned on because of that
I used my tears to chase my tequila. You could say I rallied.
I JUST SAW MY THERAPIST OUTSIDE OF WORK AND I DONT KNOW THE ADULT THING TO DO
Randomize
