Somewhere in this world my second husband is in 9th grade.
She wrote me a poem titled "Penis Flower" and it wasnt a joke
she asked if mt Rushmore was natural or man made
Don't forget your talking to the guy who got arrested for throwing beads back at the Mardi Gras floats. You can't deny that's a first, and neither could that cop.
Dude I need help. What word is complimentary, but sounds like "chunky"?
he kept doing his monologue, "if a vagina could talk."
I dont care about anyone or anything else I just want to make love to you on my air mattress
i mad aa ber float. budweiser nd ice creem. it amzig.
Told him I'd blow him in the bathroom. There was a giant window everyone was looking thru. He whipped it out n I burst out laughing n walked away. Even blackout drunk I set the bar high. You should be proud.
Bad things happen to those who bang their lab partner at the beginning of the semester.
It's titled "A countdown to death. A psychological look at the downward spiral of actress Lindsay Lohan and her inevitable Hollywood demise" This dissertation is genius. Not a single sober moment for either Lindsay or myself. Good stuff!
Dad was on the deck drinking straight bourbon. He stopped, puked on his feet, and then continued drinking and talking about compound interest.
5 hours of volunteer work playing with puppies and banned from the frat I hate most as 'punishment'... Besides the ER trip, I'm not seeing the bad in this situation
According to timehop today marks the 3rd anniversary of my 1st blackout
I just saw a cat, if i ate those mushrooms 15 minutes earlier i wouldn't have made it to the bar
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