My grandmother just explained bulimia to me as a diet
He just screamed at her, "if you pass out i am still having sex with you!!!" In front of the entire party.
I feel like I bought a front row ticket to watch her screw up her life
Just gave my manager part of my viccodin stash-my job is basically secured forever.
New handbag passed the ultimate test. The walk of shame. I had a bra, tights, skirt, shirt & sweater in it and you couldn't tell. yessss.
It's a gift. Kind of like morning wood in my brain.
we played dirty jenga the drinking edition... some girl really just broke a rib? how do we even go this hard
Haha at least the one I have like that you can't tell we are completely drunk and you're about to kick a glass out of my hand in a fit of joy over pizza.
I was just asked if I wanted to struggle snuggle. She's a keeper
I'm not gonna lie, my internet creeping skills scare me. I'm like Liam Neeson in Taken
I'm only friends with her because I can't stop watching the train wreck.
we just smoked for like ten hours and got froyo. not a bad start to the weekend.
She'd probably like you more if you'd stop fucking her husband.
No I dont want him to bring his twin brother, cause then ill have to entertain him with my vagina
Well, if you do die, I'll bedazzle your coffin.
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