She offered to make me a fruit roll up salad for breakfast...I'm not sure if that's the coolest or weirdest thing ever...
New first...just saw an entire family of homeless hitch hikers...kids and all. God, i love Oklahoma!
just friend requested my arresting officer from last night. too soon??
While my grandpa showed the family a slide show he accidentally included a topless photo of his new gf.
right. well i dont plan on getting laid till i find a respectable girl that i can make unrespectable
she broke up with me and one of her excuses was constant soreness... should I be sad or proud?
So you threw a sword at me last night
I honestly wish I could say that I was surprised.
Tonight's trip to the ER was brought to you by, "fork jousting."
Found myself carrying 2 bottles of .89 euro wine about half a mile to where im staying. and someone stopped me and spoke to english. apparently, i reek of drunk american.
Reading my bank statement stoned makes me feel like an adult.
I like to think I'd be good at dodging genitalia.
He's both a cowboy and a firefighter. Saying "no" was not an option.
Almost ran over girl selling candy bars for charity. Pretty much obligated to buy at that point.
He told me to be careful with the shrooms because he mostly had caps left. He sounded apologetic but that's the best news all week.
First encounter with a mirco peen. I was confused when he said he doesnt go down on girls. Cmon dude, practice on a peach.
Randomize
