why is it that everytime a half black man enters something boring, it suddenly becomes sexy to people? golf? the presidency?
I had a talk with my mom about respecting myself and not acting like a whore so she will rip my nose ring out if she somehow sees that picture
but the lizard people decide everything anyway
I wasn't trying to make you feel bad, I just agreed with you that your life does suck.
After the tests come back negative, you guys will look back on this evening with fond memories...
CAUTION: TWINS DO NOT HAVE TWIN PENISES.
The walk home from the bar is FAR more shameful in daylight.
Well I found you sipping ron diaz out of a child's dinosaur cup while sticking your fingers in the guy's fish tank and watching the "pirahnas" snap at your finger and laughing
Every time I roll over in bed I land on a different vibrator. I feel I'm the only one with this problem.
Woke up naked on a bed full of money, doughnuts, and keys that weren't mine. Unsent dick pick on phone, and cheap cigar butt on my pillow. Also...I maybe hotwired my car.
They had to take me to the ER because I got a concussion in a parking garage. Not partying with lesbians for a while
fyi, pepper spray hurts. whoever comes up with the best backstory wins a prize.
Please tell me I was just dreaming when I asked if I could borrow your jesus dildo
I would drive 12 hours round trip for you to have an orgasm, cause that's friendship
A drag queen just ate a dollar out of my ass. I don't know which one of us has hit rock bottom
Randomize
