how do you clear previous safari searches on an iPhone? i asked my brother to google something for me and "big penis" "empire chinese food" and "reverse cowgirl" popped up.
those are such fre$h shoes
going to ignore the use of the word "fresh" in a sentence that isnt related to produce and/or other food stuffs and especially the part where you replaced an "s" with a dollar sign
you dont remember trying to break dance in the middle of the casino floor on ur own throw up?
oh that explains alot.
Remember when spice girls "Two Become One" came on just as we were about to fuck? talk about a boner jam
is it cool if i crash at ur house this weekend again bro
yea dude but i wld bring a sleeping bag or something just in case. or u may just have to shack up with a woman or 2 cuz we hav 10 girls visiting/staying over at my house.
how did u manage to make sleeping with a bunch of girls sound like an inconvenience?
I mean, we do coke and have sex occasionally...I wouldn't call that a relationship.
Is there a law against that?
Nope not at all. Just morals. But fuck it, this is college, not real life.
You were definitely doing something right. You could only see the colored parts of his eyes a couple of times. I was pretty sure he was dead at some point.
Can I just put my face in your boobs and forget the world?
Taking a shit on the side of the road is not how I imagined this morning would start.
Can you find me some 'I threw up in my hair last night' medicine?
My signature move is making guys wonder why they bothered in the first place
To be fair I went my whole first week without showing up to work drunk!
My vape juice got mixed up with the astroglide.
Wow..I bet that tasted bad.
Not tasted.
At least he uses his lack of impulse control for chaotic good instead of chaotic evil
Randomize
