Only at my house do scrabble games turn into fist fights. I won though... the fight not the board game.
Its where this guy sticks a jar up his ass. Be prepared to be suspended between vomiting and cheering.
how am i supposed to spank it to a shakira video when she looks like she is doing the robot?
Mom's drinking. Just asked her if she was good to walk back to the condo. She seemed unsure until she remembered she brought the GPS. We are 2 blocks from the condo.
he burped in my vagina and tried to deny it...
You may see me wearing your shirt to class. It's because I still have the spins and I'm anticipating throwing up on it. Asshole.
I think I threw my underwear away at What-A-Burger last night.
sex in a tree stand. check.
you lucky bastard
Is it considered a bad morning to find your boss half naked in the parking lot of work at 7am?
That depends, how hot is your boss?
He said he was Greek American and that is why my legs slammed shut. During the World Cup there are only Americans.
I thought since you asked to see my dick I might as well say hi
Sorry I peed on your ottoman
I responded like every reasonable adult would. With a gif
I'm licking blood from my knuckles and I still haven't found my car keys..are you in town tonight?
The dog peed on the neighbors baby Jesus. No wonder she thinks we're the devil.
Randomize
