Think the blond can even spell "shiksa"?
so hey instead of everyone buying me a birthday present can everyone just pitch in for my abortion?
I don't plan to be alive for 2010 so ima say this 12 hours early. Happy New Year bitches
No I am not eating basil off your cock
He's 11. You dont draw dicks on 11 year olds, i dont care if he ate your lasagna
using blue streamers we found on the bathroom floor was probably not the best substitute for toilet paper.
I could probably be laying here naked and he'd still be more interested in this thunderstorm
I'm adopting to save the world from the moral outrage that would be my offspring
That guy was cool until he tried fighting that dude in the bow tie. I need better wingmen.
If the sex wasn't incredible why would I compare it to cheesy tots
I'm floating on a 30mph cloud right now not giving a fuck
I may or may not have just had sex in the bed of a pick-up at a drive-in movie theater.
Did you just affectionately call me a scrotum?
I have vodka, fruit gushers, and health insurance. Let's party.
She needs to move out. Her mom interferes with my penis being touched
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