I realized that I've made out with a different boy almost every time we've gone to mcgoreys....I don't need a boyfriend...I have that bar
Why does Jon Cryer have a career?
That is a good question.
i am not above fucking your little sister on your bed
Thank you for leaving pool of vagina on my girlfriends carpet.
holy crap !! There is a MIDGET FAMILY in one of my rooms today !
How much trouble would you get into if you were to stomp down the hallway while loudly saying 'Fe Fi Fo Fum...'
It was the most graceful puke ever. I just thought she dropped something underneath the bar until she told me what happened.
I don't think boys are aware how difficult it is to take a picture of your own ass.
The pigeons can smell the fear
Wtf
Bake him heart shaped cookies?!? Send him a picture of your tits like an ADULT!
The only person more miserably hungover from the party is the dog, and that's because he ate some balloons
I REMEMBER NUGGETS BEING THERE BUT WE WERE AT A TACO BELL
I can't believe the police had to bring me to my booty call last night
Found my bra in the fridge. See you in 10 mins. It's gonna be a good fuckin day!
Either my apartment is haunted or I'm far more drunk than I thought
Our sex is like an episode of "The Simpsons." Picture Homer choking Bart, and that's pretty much what we're into.
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