I just went to a chocolate syrup wrestling party I think you need to get on my level
Don't EVER smell your tampon
Bullshit. No way. If I brushed past your penis it was completely coincidental.
There's a skull full of vodka. How bad can it be?
I'm sorry I put you in the washing machine. I honestly thought you would fit.
I just had a full choir singing the phrase pudding cup in my head. Too. Stoned.
That was nice of you. Thank you for respecting the fact that I got cockblocked by a sophomore last night.
Not sure how ur night is going, but unless u also saw a naked drunk chick pissing outside i doubt it can top mine
Everything is just really out of control. I hear puking from three different parts of the house. Roger has black eye from being punched. Kaiser tried shaving his head, but somehow burned himself. Music is bumping, but everyone is either puking and calling out for help or blacked the fuck out.
Yeah even if I got stabbed it would be worth it
Gotta admit I did think about bartering you out to the gay guys for $20 and the dudes flashy neck scarf
I'm still pretty drunk right now, but when this hangover hits me, I'm going to be super pissed. It's a preemptive never drinking again.
Did he ask you why you were in his back yard Sunday night?
Because she seems like the type to give it up for a box of fruit rollups.
You know what i hate? I hate when the ppl you drunkenly made out with actually want to talk to you sober. It just doesn't work that way sir.
Randomize
