it was the worst sex ever in the history of sex. i mean ever. and he thought he was great. actually told me he was the best id ever had...what was i supposed to say? lol...i've had better times by myself. seriously.
After I tried for five minutes to hang my beer from the coat hanger in the bathroom , I have realized I am drunk
You told me to hold on because you had to barf like a dinosaur.
i cant do it anymore.. every time this girl orgasms she sounds like a motorcycle
There are 3 pics of me on my camera, naked, wearing only an apron, scooping ice cream.
and then the entire party sang the national anthem a capella around the keg.
Where are you and why am I suddenly responsible for your taquitos?
Lights are FLASHING. This just got REAL. CAPTALIZATION.
Hey I'm not sure why your jacket's covered in maple syrup but I just realized you didn't leave the house earlier wearing a jacket...
I have come to the conclusion that my perfect boyfriend is a cardboard cutout of Link with a dildo attatched. Also, Merry Christmas.
I couldn't finish the episode and had to lay down because the snapple commercial with the mustache was blowing my mind
you can't just say no to brian. he was bugging me to get me to drunk for 14 hours straight yesterday. HE DOESN'T GIVE UP
I hooked up with a guy dressed up as morning wood. Needless to say he lived up to his costume.
I'm far too poor to be letting my hookups wear my shirts home. I'm down to about a total of 8 shirts and have no intention of buying more
I woke up at 6:30 in the morning on the A train on 14th street. You wouldn't know anything about that right?
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