One can only hope that this night would end with my thumb in another humans rectum.
went to the gyno and found out that i have a birthmark on my clit. its like god gave guys a little help when it comes to getting me off.
I think i just fucked the same guy a second time without realizing it....does that make me a good whore or a bad whore???
Is it possible to just pretend that everything we did after grilling up your goldfish didn't happen?
I take it we used my cleavage as a pen holder last night during the graffiti party. Looks like the colours of Crayola exploded all over my chest
Some girl just walked passed me, said "fuck yeah!" and is now crawling up the stairs
I am never taking a razor down there again. He'll have to love me as I am.
well you don't shave your pubes into a handlebar mustache and keep the party to yourself
there are not enough nopes in the world for that situation.
IDK MAYBE BC I WOKE UP IN AN AIRPORT WITH A ONE WAY TICKET TO LONDON
Pregnancy has ruined porn for me. I can't watch a hot chick get it on without being jealous of her perfectly waxed shit. I can't even see my shit.
And no one can masturbate with the sound of Bernie's voice in the background
I'm going to the store to get corona, salad, and blunt wraps...
Just finished 151. Eating nutella off a spoon. Bring condoms.
If he isn’t into CosPlay he will be after tonight. That naughty nurse outfit heals broken hearts
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