either fucking kiss her or kick her ass to the curb. Either way I can hear everything you are saying
he rolled over and started playing skeeball on his iphone after we had the best sex yet considering he only lasted 10 seconds last time.. im getting standards.. tomorrow. for now im just going to enjoy the fact i counted over 20 this time.
She told me a very interesting story, complete with pantomimes, about how she got a habanero seed in her vag
She made a guy cry in the bar. I will have her, oh yes, I will have her..
We were busted for public indecency in the back of my car in the parking lot. This time we were just reading my Cosmo magazine.
she said 'i love fried rice', threw a condom at me and passed out naked.
Nope, sorry. Already took my bra off. All down hill from here. My next act will be crying, singing, and eating girl scout cookies in the shower. You can come watch the shit show though.
Walk of shame. Stopped at an estate sale on the way back to the house. Old lady pulled a condom wrapper of the back of my hoodie. beat that
Nothing says love like couples STD testing
Nothing says breakup like the results
He was hammered and shot his pistol into the lawn. Next thing I know sheriffs are at our house with M4s. He likes to party
He literally cried into his tacos and screamed fuck bitches. Don't know if it was the best, or the worst hook up, ever.
his ex girlfriend sent him a pic of her naked in the bathtub so I sent her a pic of me sucking his dick
When you accidentally text the wrong guy for a dick pic and your surprised you get one In return. He just got on my "to do" list
Don't judge me. It's a Monday night and I can eat burritos in while bathing in the kitchen sink if I want to.
These snow days are takeing a toll on my liver
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