Totally smoking with fifteen year olds.
My history with restaurant waiters is severely limiting our dinner options.
Why is there 6 cases of kwic trip dounuts dumped in my bed? Best 34 dollar wake up of my life
do you have any idea how expensive it is to have the munchies at Disneyland?
I could seriously attempt to try and saw my head in half with a butter knife cause im pretty sure it could not hurt any more than it already does
I got back at him the only way I knew how, by hooking up with the guy he hates from their rival fraternity.
I'm gonna take my bong and hot box the pirate ship in the daycare playground.
Oh that's what I forgot last night.. To make out with her.
Seriously. Texted me 4 times and that didn't wake me up so he nicely called and left a voicemail saying he WOULD call me 8 times. So when he called back I answered.
Just had a VERY VIVID visualization of wrapping a pizza around my cock and fucking its brains out. Soooooo less weed more dates?
Whenever someone tells me they've never met a bisexual, I feel like a majestic fucking unicorn.
She forgot a bra so she just used seran wrap. The scary thing is, it worked.
A relationship is waiting for him to fall asleep so you can cum (finally!) while watching porn
my vagina can't handle any more of our 4 day long smash bash. it should be like a holiday or something. should only happen once a year.
DON NOT, UNDER ANY CIRCUMSTANCES WATCH CLOWN PORN.
Randomize
