guy from last night has fluorescent crocs in his closet. judging by the rest of his clothes he doesn't wear them in an ironic way
Olympics start in one day, that gives us 24hrs to think of gold medal worthy drinking games
I know man...but i cant pass up a catholic school girl fantasy
Oh god. There is a bite mark in the bar of soap. Please tell me I was not that wasted.
i lnow ive slrrwsdy teted you this. but goddamn girl on tv is a good song
Her exstacy made her nickname everyone David. Nobody knows who the fuck she's talking to so we just say no to everything she says. She's crying.
you want a dog just so you can strap a barrel of hot chocolate around its neck?
Just had a shirt made that says "I'm sorry" going to wear it every sat and sun morning for the foreseeable future
Well. Turns up no one actually knows who that kid was. Came in, said happy fathers day, chilled for a while, then left.
Do you think if I tell the hot Santa at work that I want a sugar daddy for Christmas that he'll get the hint?
I feel like everyone in class can tell we had a threesome last weekend.
So you'd go straight for a fat chick with cheese on her tits?
Yes.
You will drink beer in a kiddie pool in your back yard but you wont bring a girl home
Costco (TM). Making alcoholism affordable!
If there's anything else you're planning on stealing from me, please let me know so I can set it on fire
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