I'm still drunk from last night...I walked out for a cigarette with one of the Janitors here and apparently someone took a shit on the stairs...Which makes me wonder...was that me?
Bret has after-school detention for writing Brianna has a stinky vag on the ground at recess.
I was too drunk to read the menu, let alone her body language.
Taking shots out of pine wood derby trophiesssssss. best idea ever.
I feel like I'm on let's make a deal. should I go with what's behind bulge number 1 or bulge number 2?
is it possible i asked you to give me a preliminary pap smear?
It's official, no more fat chicks or even close to that, my balls are 2 dimentional
As she was leaving she said "You have an awesome penis, I hope to use it again soon" I need that on a business card to hand out at the bar
have i crossed some slutty boundary when gay guys are sending me cock pics?
Need your help. Dad's drunk and trying to build a still in the basement.
NM he's asleep in a pile of towels. They need to ease people back into Hockey Night in Canada.
Remember when we were coked out at that house and we were trying to meditate in the bathroom? Who's house were we at?
His dog was laying on the bed and he said we could have sex as long as we didn't disturb his dog. My life is pathetic
I'm still questioning who dropped me off last night. So successful wedding?
I should probably add her on Facebook for as much as I cheat off her in Physics, huh?
Kinda. I got kicked outta the bar, and then incited a riot until the cops came and I bailed
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