he has a girlfriend so we used my stuffed animals to pretend to have sex
Only in Alabama do they play hymns in a bar!!!
Evryone should know as good ramen noodle cooked in beer sounds... its not
I wonder if those guys know that i know that is a halfway house and dont just think it is some cool older guy frat house.
You don't know the meaning of what the fuck until you wake up naked and alone in someone's bed staring at a dead squirrel on their dresser.
this guy had a colored tattoo of Chucky on his leg, whatever drugs he does, i want them
I'll just get wasted and start throwing myself at men. Someone's bound to take the bait
Careful when you walk in I'm laying by the door.
Our new goal for this summer is to fuck so hard we lose his security deposit.
The basket that the Naughty Easter bunny left for you at my house might keep us entertained for a little while...
Today I'm judging my level of singleness on a scale of one to eat-a-can-of-frosting. It's not looking good for me.
Ooooh. Get funfetti
Last night I was just holding this kitten up to my face for like ten minutes telling it that it couldn't be real
Dude I turned down free booze. I think I'm growing as a person.
I'm at forever 21 and someone pooped in the dressing room.
I haven't even lived here for 24 hours yet, and I've already banged someone. My new hoe life is off to a great start.
Randomize
