i hope S**** or M***** or someone took note of the fact that i was drinking popov like water and could no longer form sentences. i mean, dont get me wrong i had been thinking about boning R*** long before my sobriety left the picture but the number of reasons not to, outweighed the temptation and without sir robert burnett as R***'s wingman, it would have never happened
Btw the nut in my hair goes great with my outfit !!! :(
My professor really needs to stop abbreviating. I'll never remember what "Fun. Anal. Trade-offs?" means when i study.
There's a show on bravo about fat people dancing. FAT PEOPLE. DANCING.
This is god's gift to the unemployed.
I need ur penis! This is not drunk texting, either! This is I need ur penis texting. There IS a difference!
My vagina hasn't been this smooth since I was 8. I better get laid tonight.
West Wing DVD drinking game: drink whenever they waqlk around a lot. I LOVE POLITICS SO MUCH
I put the extra pregnancy test in my sex toys box as a reminder that my actions have consequences.
Anderson Cooper just came out.
Crying tears of glitter and rainbows right now. Gonna decorate my dildo like My Little Pony in his honor.
I just need to drink whiskey get off and eat some cheese. Why is that so fucking hard for god to deliver.
Uh I almost got the bride to go down on me. I'm the smoothest maid of honor ever.
I have no clue how you survived last night but I applaud you. 21 body shots off 9 bodies in under four hours has to be a record.
This weekend I turned down sex to watch the Star Wars marathon... Is this growing up?
Sexual side note: sushi and cum do not mix well. That is all.
So I was at my annual OBGYN appointment and when she saw the bruises on the inside of my thigh she asked if I had been horse back riding...I think my burst of laughter then awkward silence answered the question for me.
Randomize
