What kind of soap washes out shame, bad decisions, and whiskey?
Irish Spring?
See it, we're so close, i smell your vagisil
No. I was horrified and confused as to why you thought scrambled eggs and cottage cheese was a good mix
just had cupcakes and mountain dew for dinner-now i'm playing super mario brothers. 10 year olds all over the world would kill to be me.
Looks like I've become the Walter White of my PhD cohort.
You had sex with a mute, how is that not funny
If by some world ending natural disaster I get into an actual relationship with this kid, should I tell him the truth about the web of lies I've based our current relationship on?
The quality of my porn watching experience has significantly declined. Thanks shattered iphone screen
I need a "no soliciting" sign for your dick
He's my ex's boss. I'm not above sleeping with him for that fact alone.
I just quoted part of the Pokemon theme song in a sext... And it worked
I know. I know. He'll be weekday dick.
LACE UP YOUR GODDAMN SHOES
N O
I have a lot of money, and no morals. shots on you when you get here.
Wait you took his virginity AND broke his bed doing it
I know! I’m the best!
Randomize
