put your party hat on. and by party hat I mean no panties
she has tattoo'd to her hips "grip here" this is why they made spring break
Yes someone did see you carrying a beer bong on the side of coastal highway
He ran headfirst into the atm. Thenasmed us what our spirit animals were...he said his was either a dolphin or a cabbage
Sometimes when I see a shoe on the side of the road, I get a little depressed that I've never partied that hard.
We're gonna have screwdrivers in a cab at 4am?
Is that weird?
my vagina hasn't met your boyfriend yet ... makes me sad
Seriously? You DON'T remember putting all those Swedish fish in the waffle iron b/c you wanted "One big Swedish fish?" That waffle iron was a wedding gift.
Also. When I die, I'm gonna have them put me in the casket naked and then have an open casket funeral. That will be my last chance to make people uncomfortable.
I'm almost too hungover to function. Got into the wrong car by mistake. there was a rotweiler in it. Thank god he was more confused than i was for a minute.
Not yoga, whiskey. Totally mis-typed whiskey.
I accidentally sent him a snapchat of my boobs and now we're going on a date tomorrow... Could be worse.
10/10 would definitely still fuck you dressed as squirrel
He was pretty bad, I wanted pizza the whole time.
PANTIES FOUND
Randomize
