Right on... I dropped my chapstick
I blacked out
I only have two rules. But i've fotgotten those rules and replaced them w 2 other rules
okay I'm thinking he doens't have a facebook...I'm on page 28 of Hunters
ok you need to stop NOW
I wish I was that guy from the miller light commercials so I could walk into parties and take peoples beer without getting yelled at
seeing an 80 year old woman puke in the bushes changes everything...
that's spring break in florida for ya
If fate has that penis in my future.....I'm down.
Its pretty simple actually, if she texts me either Grr or Rawr it means she is horny and wants to bone. its a perfect system
So fucked up. Can't tell if I'm starving or about to puke. Playing it safe and eating froot loops. Tasty in, colorful out.
One minute we were getting noise complainted by the security guards the next I was shotgunning a beer with them
Put a customer on hold today while I threw up. If I don't get employee of the month, I'm suing.
GDI YOU HAVE THE GOD OF FUCKING THUNDER'S NUDES AND YOU DIDN'T SHARE
I don't think my professor is going to remember the Halloween party... or the fact that he made out with a priest.
I should be rewarded with oreos for not turning into a raging cunt.
I think one of my ovaries is committing suicide. But that is a topic for another day.
just showered sitting down cuz standing seemed like too much work, thursdays need to stop making me their bitch.
Randomize
