i'd like someone to explain to me why my clothes are all sticky. including my fanny pack. yes, this is a mass text.
It was like riding a jackhammer on a train during an earthquake. THAT amazing.
i was so fucked up i thought i was at home depot
Guys, right now i need a picture of a squirrel, preferably with one of you guys but not necessary.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Swear to god this chicks brother got let out of jail for the weekend for the sole purpose of cock blocking me
Drinking down Plan B with a 5 hour energy. Winding down welcome week in style.
Found a grenade pin. Still no Dave.
Yeah, surprised you made it on time this morning. Remarkable, considering 2 hours ago you were pretending to be talking window curtains.
To be honest, waking up to 20 naked people in my house was not the weirdest thing to happen to me in the past 24 hours
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I was in the bathroom and I heard a phone ding inside one of the stalls. I really wanted to say, nature is calling, but I was still in my work uniform
I think I must have activated my bat signal.... All three of my FWBs contacted me today!
Is someone on their way here yet? I'm way too tweaked to be here alone
We had sex then laid in his bed eating chocolate and drinking juice boxes. I think I'm going to keep him around.
I got up and left his place at 3am because I remembered I had a burrito in my car.
If the amount of time the owner spent looking at my tits is any indication, I’d say I can probably sleep my way to the top
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