Get your hand out of your ass!
how did you know my hand was in my ass? Guess where my other hand is..?
In your belly button
I'm not saying he's gay. Just that he prob knows what a dick tastes like
I think I just saw the silver monkey from legends of the hidden temple sitting out in someone's trash
GO. BACK. NOW.
My building was evacuated who wants to quake and bake
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She called to say she's single and blow job season is back.
Boys DO look like their dicks. Its like dogs.
My god this is going to ruin whatever Vegas left of our souls...
The ideal thing to do next party is to tape my boobs down so they don't knock over the pong cups while playing defense. They came back to hurt us this time
I'm at a new rock bottom. Malibu on ice at work because it's the only thing they've got and no mixers.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The zoom feature on snap chat videos is the worst thing to ever happen to sexting
seriously considering getting an electric blanket rather than sleeping with guys this winter for warmth.
a guy messaged me on POF to ask if I knew of any places that were hiring. And was being completely deadass serious. I'm so done
I did just chug a pint glass of wine during a solid round of masterbation, so I believe I am ready for bingo.
My horoscope should say: you're an alcoholic, get help today, Pisces
Upstairs definitely just had sex while I wrote you love poetry. That was a fun experience 🤷🏻♀️
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