I just saw the host of Singled Out do standup. Holy shit 1995.
Now that I'm 21, I feel like I'm letting North Dakota down by not being drunk everyday
My cardio has turned into running out of the cold from bar to bar.
I'm pretty sure that if I didn't have a gerbil with a shotgun in my uterus I would think i was knocked up cuz all I want is hot sauce
I walked into your room and you had fallen asleep smoking a cigarette. You just had the butt in your mouth with ash all over your face.
I'm just saying. If this how my magic vagina shows it's magic then I don't want any
But how will the next generation learn about life choices without a Jersery Shore?
I can tell right now that knowing you will either be really fun or ruin my life
I don't have time to shower before my passport photos...your cum is all over my hair...that's with me for 10 years now
I think my biggest regret in life is not banging you in the science museum
I have more important things to worry about than you drowning your cheerios in tequila.
Sex was followed by homemade breadsticks. I waited till after the breadsticks were gone to tell her i had a gf.
there is definitely a hickey on my left nipple.
Last night we proved the theory that "harder" is the worst rough sex safe-word ever.
It actually wasn't the first time that a guy I just met ate me out in the back seat of his car in a starbucks parking lot in the middle of the day.
Randomize
