but i really can't criticize. i blacked out waaaaaay ahead of schedule.
I got kicked out of a mexican restaurant last night for being too drunk. This is getting dangerously close to rock bottom
threw up in the library. i should be embarrassed, but i'm willing to bet that i'm one of the first so i'm kinda proud.
Tried to eat a sandwich this morning. Couldn't. My jaw is locked up. These marathon blow jobs are killing me
Doctor just prescribed me 20mg Ritalin 3 times a day. It's becoming the "grain and oats" section of my food triangle.
My biggest accomplishment thus far this summer is having sex 5 weeks after hip surgery.
Worst decision of artistic career thus far: bringing a banana to eat on male model day.
Just got my stitches out.. Now I can give a proper hand job
Never thought having a box of Cheerios could get me laid. My new lucky charm hello girl in 2B
We're going to ride the bus of mixed signals all the way to unrequited love town and that's where I'm going to live my life and then die.
I'm just drunk enough to be eating egg rolls on the toilet
I don't care if he's the coolest coworker, if he's living in his mom's basement at 30 you should not buy drugs from him
Smargarita sloshedurday tomorrow around 2
Bring a helmet for your liver
i need you to come over and tell me if you can notice that i'm only wearing a teddy underneath my trenchcoat
So he apologized for peeing on my floor.. then we fucked all night.
Real classy
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