There is a stranger person in my roommates bed...
I an trashes at a wedding. Hotbcousins here I come. Agh.
guys are not supposed to queef...right?
suntimes in life you find a rare opportunity, mine was bonin my gf in front of the tv
Thanks for making me watch you dance provacatively by yourself in the bathroom so you could see if you looked fat.
drunk pissing on my closed toilet lid is actually quite a sobering experience
One girl peed the bed, one lost her panties, another woke up on the piano, I have pink eye and door knobs are missing. This is why I stay in Nebraska
They wouldn't let me hang out the sun roof and sing apple bottom jeans in the drive thru of hardee's i think i no longer like these ppl
we went 3 years between hookups and she got a lot better. Amanda's moving way up the booty call pecking order.
I mean you were pretty drunk at one point you asked if we could have a glass of water ready for you in case you choked while bobbing for apples, but you said grape juice was preferable. You can't choke on an apple btw
I seriously have her in my phone as "Legit 8"...even I'm surprised
Yup, two strangers look up at each other and realize the only connection they have is the dead woman they banged to death below them. Magic. They have to be best friends now.
I'm out of milk so I'm dunking my Oreos in Bailey's; this is my life now.
Is it too forward if I ask him to bring a condom when he comes over to work on our project?
yeah, I woke up with nacho cheese crusted all over my face and head...a lone jalapeno still stuck in my ear...you win this round drunk nachos....
Randomize
