shes hot in the i'd deny it if anyone asked kinda way
Have you learned any life lessons?
I like big butts and I cannot lie.
it's like sucking your thumb. only its not yours. and its a penis.
You can bone my sister, but I will end our friendship if you write 'LOLERS' one more time at the end of your texts.
Just tried to put my sweatpants on backwards...the chances of passing my physics exam just went down about 100%.
just saw 2 fat kids fight for the last slice of pizza. Litteraly fight. God Bless America
He freaked out when I started to orgasm. He said he never knew girls could orgasm too.
I found a digiorno pizza in my washing machine.
He was so drunk he was throwing the bowling balls into other lanes on purpose. He still beat my high score thought.
There still is not and there never will be anything as magical as getting high while listening to William Shatner's version of Bohemian Rhapsody.
Her mom came in and passed out drunk on the floor next to us while she was riding me, "it's all good, she does this all the time" is what she said
So I've reached a new low. After completing my walk of shame and being told "see you around", I took off my heels to discover he had came in my shoe.
The one that slept in my truck and you peed in his face?
I'm drunk and he's still weird.
It's not a hangover, it's "slept on a couch with another person and said person moves a lot and is loud"
Randomize
