pshh wine cellars. now if he has a tequila cellar whole different story
3 different guys in my psych class know me as 3 different names and said hi to me with all 3 different names-Andrea, Grace, and Bella
I've never been more proud of you
Theres a baby at this concert double fisting pacifiers. shes gunna do great in college.
I found the pot of gold last night, and it was full of bad decisions.
So his mom walked in the kitchen while I was sucking him off and just casually suggested that "I'd need a glass of water after that"
If you're not peeing in public bi-monthly, you're not really living.
He's both a cowboy and a firefighter. Saying "no" was not an option.
so today, i decided to say "fuck it" to mental stability, take a klonopin and wear a blanket toga. New Girl is on Netflix, nothing could go wrong.
The inside of my nose has felt like the guy's face falling off from raiders of the lost ark all week
is there a way to say "yea i broke my wrist cause i fell down some stairs while tripping my face off on acid" without actually saying it?
You don't understand. My ass is the color of eggplant.
The look of disappointment from my cat while I take nudes...
I will go to bed dreaming of sexy Olympians carting me on a throne to the beach where they feed me pizza and champaign and massage my head/wash it like the hair dresser does.
I swear to god if you settle for a trump supporting packers fan, I will not acknowledge your children. You're better than that.
Straight boys are literally imbeciles. If Darwinism doesn’t get them female rage will.
Randomize
