Would it be weird if I brought slabs of bacon with me to the beach?
I just remembered before I gave him head I couldn't find a hair tie and he offered to hold my hair up. Maybe we were wrong.. Maybe he does have a heart.
just found preset five on the shower head...pretty sure my pussy just had a panic attack
Don't worry. I has chaperone.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
All his texts have the signature of a date with a smile. I asked him what it means. IT'S THE DAY HE QUIT DOING DRUGS
I want an alcoholic time machine so we could skip to new years eve
I need a Jamo leash. Just tie it to my wrist and every time you see me reaching for a shot of it, just yank my hand away
Call me something sexy & ethnic. Like jasmine. But mystical too. Like Mermaid Jasmine. And throw Glitter somewhere in there too.
barely 48 hours and I've done the dirty on both of my roommates beds before they've even slept in them
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So do I get to ride the beginning of the November stache or what?
Ok, not to minimize the significance of that beautiful anecdote from your childhood, but here's a video of my penis.
I'm drunk listening and crying to Selena. How's your Monday?
You kept singing "your gonna lose that girl" to him right in front of her.. of course you got punched in the face.
I want you
Nvm, now I want someone who replies to my booty-call texts faster
Played Gay Bar on the jukebox and pissed off the Republicans here. Best day before birthday ever.
Randomize