Yeah, we realized keeping you in a cage wasn't beneficial to us
so wait, they're fucking, but it doesn't count as cheating cause they only do anal?
Hey baby girl when you gonna let my tongue get up in that ass like i'm an explorer trying to go deep under on a quest for the lost city of atlantis
your text was fucking rediculious. Will let you eat my asshole though.
I just ran from Santa Claus in Kroger
I still think it's messed up that you're naming your kids after all the guys you slept with in college
They ran out of vodka so we started doing Body Doritos.
Yo send me the pic of me stickn my dick in the paint bucket last night
So my mom and I were talking about what I should get you for christmas. She made it clear I cannot get christmas lingerie.
I tell myself every day I shouldn't be friends with you
All I could think about while he was going down on me was that his moustache reminded me that I want to try something new with my pubic hair.
You want to groom your chest hair? You mean with a little baby chest hair brush? Because that sounds adorable.
She ran from her surprise party screaming "I'm not ready for an intervention." Yeah, the girl has a problem.
Who put my cat in the fridge?
A guy caught me talking to a sock today in the Laundry room if it makes you feel any better
Sadly that does. Why...where you talking to a sock
Bc I didn't know him and I asked him where he came from and why he was hanging out with my thongs
Last time I went to flagstaff I threw up in my beard. I would very much like to recreate that moment.
DO IT!
Randomize
