Call meee
Ok, but just to warn you, I'm as drunk as a Kennedy right now...
ugh. people who use coupons make me wanna punch a baby.
rolled over to window for cup of snow instead of leaving bed for water. that's how hungover
im pretty sure your bra is in my room hanging on my shark pinata
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You should know I just got pulled aside by TSA because they found a bottle of Bud Light in my backpack... Thanks for that...
Fantastic. I'm pretty cold, tired, dirty, and hungry, but that comes with an adventurous weekend. Who needs a wallet or keys anyway? I could totally be homeless.
Yea he doesn't really know about any of this yet but my game plan is to keep wowing him with my vagina and cooking skills. It's up too future me to handle the rest.
You just can't come from being "the girl who shit her pants."
The man was doing everything in his power to get away from his wife, including go into the gay club.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I think I'm gonna cut my hair just so I stop waking up with semen in it
Seriously considering modifying my computer case so it can dispense wine. I need to make a bunch of changes and reorganize it's guts anyway....
I'm really glad I had vomit on my sweater when I met his sister.
Cheese, the small of a woman's back, the universe, mountains, vampiric demons, sleep, and dreams.
I AM SO HORNY, I AM GOING TO DIE. I NEED SOMEONE TO WISH MY VAGINA A MERRY CHRISTMAS.
I just Spray tanned myself while high as fuck its either going to look like a work of art or terrible graffiti
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