I just saw a girl wearing a flannel shirt that would make 1992 cringe
last night was the icing on my 3 week vodka binge cake
Your clothes are in washers 2,3 and 4. I arranged by darks, whites, then frat... I'm not even joking
Were driving two hours to st louis so we can pee on the arch. See you in the morning. I might be sober by then.
its a vaginal recession for me, ill take what i can get
is it just my freshly shaved vagina or is the guy at the end of the table pretty cute??
Go ahead. I tried to back up ur budhism story but she mite be catching on
Dammit. I hoped that would work. Just tell her I'm doing my pilgrmidge to Nepal or something.
I knew as soon as I saw that pole that I was going to wake up the next morning with bruises.
sitting on my lesbian neighbors couch, sexting, & eating a burrito.. that single
I love being Chipotle's first beer sale of the morning.
He ate me out on the balcony. My asian neighbors cats are judging me...ALL 3 OF THEM!!
Let's FaceTime each other while we shotgun beers
He was going down on me and all I could think about was how proud of me you'd be
Remember that St. Patrick's Day when I fucked your married coworker in his truck and the whole bar was chanting for you "Don't fuck Mike"?! #TheLuckOfTheIrish 🍀
We fucked on the roof... like that has to mean something
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