I couldn't get internet on my iPod in this hotel room for porn, so I made due with UFC.
I'm not sure what to say to that.
I cant go down on him yet. All ive had to eat is olives and percocet. semen would only add to tomorow mornings discomfort.
i'd fuck the guy who invented dead baby jokes.
I just got a facebook invite to join a group called "bring back the old franzia spout." i never want our generation to grow up.
My booty call got married. Come over before I start tagging all the places my dick has been in her wedding photos.
He dumped me and I don't wanna fuck his best friend for revenge. Is this what maturity feels like?
The heaters out again. Makin a fire in thebroke toilet for warmth.
just watched my roommates get stoned and jury rig a pulley system to pass the bowl back and forth across the room.
Not sorry that my walk of shame this morning was barefoot on my scooter.
I FEEL like I celebrated someone's 21st, but really I just celebrated Tuesday.
The problem with having sex on the couch is that your blanket ends up in the laundry and you're left cold on the couch the next day.
Doesn't matter how many times we tell him the kid's a freshman, he keeps repeating "cupcake boy shall be mine" and honestly you need to intervene
Why make bad decisions when I can watch you?
Vodka, rum, moonshine, I don't care, just bring like 5gallons.
I watched one of the videos of you hanging from the rafters, and it is both violent and sexual in nature.
Randomize
