ok please explain why some one shaved half of my pubes?
can you take me to a tanning bed
sure, why though?
i have to go once so i can blame these herpes on the tanning bed and she won't get suspicious
Today should be called shooting fish in a barrel day. Every place ive gone to ive met a girl who regrets not hooking up last night. There have not been girls this easy since Fathers Day
I think he just gave me the 'I used to fuck your sister' discount
Will you come get her? She's trying to get the pizza guy into the bathtub.
if that blanket by the dog bowl was your dog's "bed" then i apologize to bailey for having sex on it
Writing apology letters and leaving them on peoples doors for your actions is NOT what I want to be doing at 6am.
Dude. I have so much pot that i only worry about running out of lighters
yeah people on the adjacent balcony, Im naked drinking outside in 0 degree weather at 1pm. got a problem?
Literally just inhaled three cinnamon rolls. Sara is staring. It was inhuman
All I've consumed in the last 24 hours is cranberry vodka and kosher for passover biscotti
That's what happens when you party with the tribe
she made me cum so hard I dislocated my jaw. I'm keeping her
Hey! How are you feeling? Still preferring soup over sex?
My eye was non-stop itchy for like an hour... I thought burying my face in your ass caught up with me
Nothing says hangover like being in the doctors office getting a tampon removed from deep inside
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