butt sex is not good for yourself don't do it
Thanks?
dude, that chick is coming to see me and stay for 2 nights. I'm hitting the 3rd in the trifecta of friends.
You're one hell of a depraved bastard dude, I'm borderline speechless. You officially win.
They all have matching tattoos so they're all official bffs. I love my life.
thats it. im googling how to make you boobs smaller. this is getting out of control.
just smash crush and snort whatever we can get our paws on
I knew I fell for you for a reason
I just beat off to a cartoon porn video. what has my life come to
It doesn't matter if I tell the story beginning to end or end to beginning, the story still starts with a random girl blowing me in the bathroom.
she just made some guy spank her... then made some chick take a running start and spank her.
i wasn't going to tell her about the threesome but i had to explain the tree and the green paint everywhere
you were like "guys ... i think i got fingered while dancing tonight"
our poor poor cab driver
I was just hotboxing under my sheets and I got lost on the way out.
It was so scary.
Lol I wish they went straight to your cock then shot out into my mouth like a cock nacho dispenser
I ask for a dick pic and he sends a picture of Dick Cheney. Who does that?
Why did I wake up next to the fire pit? And who wrapped me up like a burrito?
Jägerbombs. Thank Sara.
its like i get a dick upgrade with every new guy i screw, at this rate i'm scared to see my next one
I just checked and if you bring a picture of your ex they will shred it and give you a free 'hater shot'. Would it be too much to print off one of their wedding pictures and bring it?
I really love that you're not going the 'why am I not married and having a kid yet?' route, but rather 'thank god I dodged that bullet'
Randomize
