can't come. weird drunk guy passed out on couch. long story, tell u later.
wtf. wake him up, call him a cab, get over here!
i just want to make sure he doesn't die. or rob me. plus it's facinating, he's faceplant on the arm of my sofa.
I have demons in me.
Denmark girl wants me to go out but i remembered shes a raging whore with extremely questionable morals. Not feelin that tonight
Is it bad that when my prof gave examples of "stalking" behavior, I either have done or would do most of them?
Knitting and drinking wine. Forget my 21st birthday, might as well just skip to my 60th
I'm in Target and the lady in front of me is buying three Summer's Eve douches, a box of fishsticks and a giant bottle of vodka. The sad thing is I get it.
I know it was you because you're the only person I know who gets drunk and craves soup.
Soup is delicious
hr gave me pretxwk salad and a doubke shot of grey goose. i approve! tou guys are a beautidil couple.
Tell me I'm the only person you know who could punch someone at the bar, get escorted out, smoke a cig with the cop who almost arrested me AND get the security guy who escorted me out to buy me drinks.
I repeat do not go to a jail visit drunk, those stools are easy to fall off.
Dude I'm hungover as fuck in a bed in Baltimore with another man... I don't think I can make it.
I just want to smoke weed and be the little spoon all winter. My modern day hibernation.
My dog and I just went outside to pee together.
Two of us got arrested. Gonna be delayed a bit. Save me a burger.
Smoking weed with a blind guy, don't worry he's chill.
Randomize
