What's the procedure for failed threesomes? Do I friend her on facebook this morning?
i just realized i have an entire drawer dedicated to the clothes of guys ive shacked with...
The gym is handing out free condoms this week, motivation to work out this week?
i'm just sitting here going through her tagged pics, covering up different parts of her face to try and figure out exactly what it is that makes her so ugly.
Dude I reek of $2.50 pitchers, $1 off/pack marlboro cigs, and fear.
Fear?
FEAR.
So is there some kind of punch card you and I get to use every time we fuck a chick with a cast?
Makers Mark. Chicken nuggets in a blender. Smart
Everytime Our professor said "penis fencing" in class today we took shots.
It's a little weird that I'm blowing my wingman.
you can only text me tonight if its in drake lyrics. thats the rule
gin. gin. Gin. GIN GIN GINGINFFdJH
He brought me Plan B in the snowstorm.
A+ 👏🏼
So what's the protocol on sending your exes new wife a baby shower gift that says "thanks for getting him the hell out of my life, please keep him there!"?
Went home last night with that hot British guy. Sounded like I was f-ing in a Harry Potter movie.
I was totally going to fuck him and then his friend walked in brushing his teeth, whipped down his pants and started doing the windmill. Ultimate cock block
Randomize
