im pretty sure i just saw someone trying to catch a fish with his penis
He said he was from Mississippi and my vagina clamped shut like a frightened oyster
Exactly. All of us sinners go to hell and get nothing while all of the goody two shoes get to go to heaven where its all pink floyd, lasers, and pot.
And then he said "good night girls" and kissed each one before I put my shirt back on
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i found a beer bottle on top of the urinal, peed in it and put it back... if anyone gets drunk enough to fall for it they deserve it
Superbowl and Mardi Gras a week apart. World's longest bender here I come.
nope, if she's going to skank it up with ginge-a-saurus douche she deserves the silent treatment.
that ring i bought was worth the 6 bucks. wore it to the bar, told some girl i was recently divorced and wasnt ready to take it off. just got laid. THRICE.
I am too hungover to address any of this right now, every time i move it feels like i'm being bitch slapped by the hand of God
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I got my project done and a booty call in all before 1am. I'm a professional college kid.
I had to wash my hair with conditioner because my sister got hammered and gave the dog a 3am sprinkler bath with my shampoo.
Please put me on a plane and hypontize me into forgetting the little bit of last night that I do remember.
If fixing it is ignoring it, and getting naked. Then yes we fixed it.
Nothing wrong with a few meaningless hookups. Keeps the mind occupied and the body satisfied
Just showered and cleaned every bit of sex off of me cuz i have a feelin my stepmom has jesus powers and would be able to smell it on me
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