I am so high I am beginning to unironically like Vanessa Carlton.
Drinking mikes hard & watching the swan princess. i fucking LOVE college
I'm more concerned as to why he has a playlist entitled Dem Club Beats.
I feel like if you stuck me in a room with all my old toys it'd be the best high ever.
Was I wearing clothes when I handed you your keys. Please tell me I was wearing clothes.
It took him three days to realize his roommate had moved out.
When he gets asked "is it in?" more than his name you arent missing out on much more than a petite tampon.
All I remember is passing out with an umbrella over my head and waking up screaming bad luck for seven years
my friend thinks you're hot & wants to fuck you ps i'm my friend
I try not to have friends with attractive fathers, it only brings my morals down.
Sent him a snap chat of him eating me out so he can relive the moment.
Seriously I'm not after your cock. It's a nice bonus, like finding $20 in the dryer, but not the reason I hang out with you.
Remember those two guys in our frat that would no homo everything? I just got an invitation to their wedding.
she hand cuffed me to the bed naked, jumped off the dresser naked, hit her head on the fan and knocked herself out. when her mom came home i had to call her for help, she could have died man...
I called him my big strong man today. It's all downhill from here. Matching Christmas sweaters, here we come
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